Ranking Every Single Black Mirror Episode

Ranking Every Single Black Mirror Episode

Black Mirror has delivered a Twilight Zone for the modern age, an anthology series that generates questions that we may, in fact, need to face in the future. It's a fascinating display of technology and humanity and the conflict is created when they oppose. There are not necessarily bad episodes of Black Mirror, but some episodes are better than others. Here is my list that ranks each and every Black Mirror episode. If you disagree, please let me know in the comments and remember, this is my opinion. Enjoy!

19. Black Museum

Since I haven't seen any other reviews of season four of Black Mirror, I don't know whether or not having Black Museum at the bottom of my list is a controversial pick but I know that it is easily the Black Mirror episode that I enjoyed the least. While I previously stated that there are really no 'bad' episodes of Black Mirror, this one comes really close to being really bad. The disjointed narrative told through apparently unrelated flashbacks; the blatant and disappointingly obvious reveal of a shared universe; the clumsy and forced final twist with characters that we don't spend more than a third of the episode with; and the lazy story construction of a character literally telling you the entire narrative all serve to dampen the impact of this episode. The saving grace of the episode is the fact that there were essentially three, smaller story lines told within the awkward architecture of the episode and all of them were intriguing and disturbing enough to carry it until the end. Some of the ideas even felt like they could (and should) have been their own episodes but they didn't have the time to fully flesh out those stories. Overall, Black Museum landed disappointingly flat and simply reminded me that even great shows can have duds for episodes.

18. The Waldo Moment

With the premise of this episode becoming eerily prescient in modern times, The Waldo Moment grows a little better over time despite its lukewarm initial impressions. Playing off of the fact that people are tired of hearing the same old political nonsense from every, single politician, it takes this a step farther where, rather than the establishment, the populace embrace a crude, animated bear who makes obscene comments and gestures focused at the political system and its elite. While The Waldo Moment has the interesting, inspiring, yet oddly unsettling escalation of Waldo's power, it is dragged down by the personal story of the comic behind the blue bear. A large portion of the episode is dedicated to his mental wellbeing and struggle to continue to portray the bear which is just not that interesting. His romantic dalliances and the resulting problems that they create are not engaging and you just want the episode to move on so you can follow the story of Waldo's rise to power.

17. Men Against Fire

Men Against Fire is not necessarily a bad episode but rather just a bit obvious. The twist (military lies to soldiers to make them better killers) and the moral behind the twist (the demonization of the enemy during war is dangerous) is something hammered into us through a variety of other media forms. With that being said, the way that this moral is portrayed is actually quite interesting by using technology to literally turn your enemies into demonic beasts that you feel no remorse towards as you gun them down. The reveal and subsequent actions of the story don't quite live up to the anticipation but it does propel you towards the gripping climax. It's an obvious parable on a series that commonly uses subtlety to undermine your expectations and I think, more than anything else, that the overall quality of Black Mirror has to be compared to this episode and Men Against Fire falls along the wayside as just a 'good' hour of television.

16. Arkangel

While this episode was neither particularly shocking nor as emotionally powerful as it could have been, I do appreciate the down-to-earth, frighteningly believable way that this technology is introduced and the story naturally evolves around it. With no giant horror twist, like the technology secretly corrupting children's brains, or something equally uninspired, Arkangel actually becomes more chilling. The invasion of privacy, even by a parental unit, even to offer protection, makes your skin crawl not only because of the nature of privacy but also because of its plausibility in the modern age. I think one of the reasons that this didn't resonate with me from the beginning is my complete lack of empathy for the mother. As soon as she decided to make anything traumatizing become a blur, she lost all of my respect as a parent. That's how all of us grow in this world. So, with that being said, the ending playing up her anguish as a parent didn't really register with me and I thought of it more as a victory for her daughter to get out from underneath her misguided, smothering care. I would like to note however that the terminated pregnancy by the mother is a classic, Black Mirror shocker that I did not see coming and was easily the best moment of the episode. 

15. Metalhead

Shot beautifully in black and white, Metalhead follows a scrappy survivor trying to escape a murderous and terrifying machine-dog across a bleak and wasted environment. In a vacuum, this episode was thrilling, skillfully ratcheting up the tension like any good monster flick. The mechanical dog that quickly dispatches her companions at the start of the episode is thoroughly nerve-wracking, merciless, and continuously threatening by being able to manipulate the technology that is apparently left behind by humanity. Similarly, this story wouldn't have been nearly as interesting if the protagonist was weak or stupid, both of which she certainly is not. Her innate ingenuity demonstrated by her use of the paint and the willingness to pull the tracker out of her body makes her an engaging protagonist who is easy to root for. However, despite all of the things that Metalhead does right, it doesn't quite register on the same, overarching level that many other Black Mirror episodes do: using modern technology to paint a bleak portrait of the future. It's hard to reconcile what were seeing with the real world and I imagine that it does the episode a disservice to try and make that connection. Similarly, since we don't know anything about the survivors that she cares for or the circumstances behind this state of the world, it's difficult to invest too much outside of her immediate danger. Regardless, the episode is fraught with tension and the cat and mouse storyline has a palpable sense of dread, ending in a typically bleak and uncertain way. 

14. The National Anthem

The first episode ever of Black Mirror plays more like a satire than any of the following episodes, with the very blackest of humor punctuating this bizarre situation. The episode revolves around the kidnapping of a royal princess and the subsequent demand of the kidnapper for the prime minister of England... to have sex with a pig. Played completely seriously, the episode feels surreal, as if we're watching a true story that happened in an alternate dimension where it's not as ridiculous. As the first episode of the series, it does a good job of undermining our expectation that, somehow, the prime minister won't have to go through with it. But go through with it he does and it's as disturbing and horrifying as you can imagine. By having the kidnapper force a live broadcast of the event, something very easy to accomplish with Twitch or Facebook today, Black Mirror weaponizes a commonplace technology that we are all comfortable with, something that it will expound upon in future episodes. Regardless, this tale is fairly straight forward, with little of the underlying unease about the future of technology that will define the series moving forward. 

13. Playtest

With virtual reality knocking on our door, Playtest becomes more and more relevant as time goes on. A traveler stumbles into a beautiful woman and is enticed into becoming a guinea pig for a trial run of a cutting edge VR experience in gaming. Basically, after contractually signing away his life, he's put through a nightmarish horror experience that is equal parts graphic as it is chilling. But the true horror is yet to come when it's revealed that after he's released from the game, after he takes a flight back home, after he walks to his front door, that he's actually still in the game and his brain short circuits with the revelation, killing him instantly. The camera returns to when he was first hooked up to the machine and they state that he's been in the program for less than one second, explained by the fact that our brain computes information faster than we can recognize. It's a disturbing look into what could happen when we mess with our brain. The episode succeeds at both an intimate horror story and at exploring the dangerous territory of altering the mind with technology. Despite this, the episode doesn't quite stay with you for as long because the audience is just waiting for the worst to happen. 

12. Crocodile

Wow, does this episode escalate wildly. When a tragic accident is covered up by a couple on a road trip, from all appearances, it seems as though the man involved will be either the protagonist or at least a major player. However, the perspective switches to fifteen years later, where the woman is now a successful architect with a loving family. In other words, she has a lot to lose if its revealed that she covered up a murder. Additionally, there is the perspective of another woman, a crack investigator that uncovers insurance fraud by delving into people's memories. Slowly, the story builds and morphs and the true villain is revealed, driven by desperation and an unwillingness to back down. The episode is titled 'Crocodile' for a reason as the woman you're originally rooting for quickly falls down the rabbit hole of self-preservation leading to its haunting conclusion. This episode really worked for me as it didn't feel telegraphed at all and each new act of violence seemed to not only be logical in a twisted way but also shockingly unexpected. You want it to stop, to end somehow but it keeps going and going until you're left with the entirely uncomfortable feeling of melancholy and inevitability. A truly harrowing episode detailing what desperation can drive people to do. The episode uses technology naturally and it plays a major role in both the actions of the people involved and conclusion of the narrative. 

11. The Entire History of You

The conclusion to the first season of Black Mirror gives the world something that everyone  wants: a way to replay memories so you can prove that something happened in the past. Naturally, it's used for more things, such as job interviews or photo galleries, but everyone can relate to that moment when you know that somebody said something but yet they deny it and if only you had a way to prove it. As an inquisitive mind, the protagonist catches a whiff of something fishy happening between his wife and another man at a party. Quickly this spirals into a self-destructive loop, reconstructing interactions from his memory, confronting people at gun point, and eventually tearing the device out of his head with no regard that it may cause him permanent brain damage. The fact that he becomes vindicated about his suspicions is irrelevant because of what it cost him to find it out. This is the same story when it comes to asking people questions that you don't actually want the answer to. Getting the truthful answer from a question can sometimes lead to more pain and having the technological means to feed this sort of obsession can be ultimately dangerous to yourself and others. 

10. Hang the DJ

In Hang the DJ, Black Mirror takes a look at the ever-growing online dating industry and what it could eventually lead to. A prerecorded path to follow that has a 99.8% of matching you with your soul mate. You have to spend the night with numerous dates for various amounts of time, go through bad relationships, experience heartbreak and all of your responses will inform the final decision of who your soul mate is. It is a mechanical and industrial way of looking at relationships that feels all too plausible in the future. However, with humans being humans, we are bound to rebel against this sort of imposed systemic approach to an emotional turning point. So, when our couple eventually does strike against the faceless guards that are holding them captive in this loot, it is revealed that their very rebellion has been planned as a part of the 99.8% success rate and that they are nothing more than simulations of the real people placed together to discover if they're compatible. One of the best aspects of this episode is the way that it seamlessly incorporates other parts of the Black Mirror universe without the clumsy museum setting in Black Museum. Other episodes have dabbled with the idea of digital copies of people, most notably in White Christmas and USS Callister, and this idea of placing digital copies of ourselves with other random people to discover our compatibility in love feels like a natural progression that's earned within the series. 

9. Shut Up and Dance

If there were one episode that shoved the knife into you and then twisted it over and over again, it had to be Shut Up and Dance, where we follow a teenager who is being blackmailed by unknown, nefarious forces up until a stunningly dark conclusion. This is Black Mirror at its bleakest and looking into this abyss does not give any quarter. By recording the young man through his camera on his computer, they gain leverage over him that we, the audience, don't fully understand. The scariest part of this episode is that this technology, in all likelihood, already exists and its only a matter of time until it used for coercion. Regardless, he's taken through a series of hoops that are increasingly dangerous and meeting more and more other people facing similar blackmail. Finally, reaching the devastating conclusion, we discover that the leverage held over the teenager is worse than we could have imagined, he's forced to kill a man, and, to top it all off, the nefarious forces release the information anyway, making everything he went through nothing more than a sick trial. The utter gut punch that this episode delivers is downright astounding, leaving you breathless and stunned. 

8. Nosedive

As the opener for season three, Nosedive introduces an all too plausible reality where people are now rated on the same scale that we rate our Uber drivers. How nice are you to strangers? How many likes can you garner on social media? But it goes even further than that. Some housing neighborhoods will only allow people with a certain star rating live in the area. Even some restaurants will only allow serve people with a four star or higher rating. This economy creates a new type of firm that specializes in boosting your star rating. Either way, this mentality of judgement based on a five point scale, permeates daily life in every way, particularly for our protagonist, an otherwise normal woman who is obsessed with achieving a higher rating. When she sees an opportunity to boost her rating, she goes to extraordinary lengths to achieve it, giving us a gloriously awkward march towards the inevitable implosion. And much to this episode's credit, it ends by giving us closure and hinting that our protagonist, who we like despite her foolhardy desperation, ends up in a verbal fight with a fellow inmate, spewing insults and profanity at one another that surely would lower their star score. It's the hint of a smile so coyly hiding on her face as she curses at this stranger and as they curse at her that solidifies this episode as a character arch completed. 

7. White Bear

White Bear features the single greatest twist that I've ever seen in a television show. The completely destructive twist at the end of this episode, revealing that this whole experience has been programmed from the start as a sort of continuous torture loop for a convicted felon is jaw-dropping. The whole episode, you're along for the ride, fighting with her to survive but not fully clued in to what was happening and trying to assemble the pieces on your own. But at the climax, there's simply no way you've had the time or foresight to complete the picture and it is nothing short of revelatory. The stunned silence that engulfs you as the credits roll and you watch her be prepared for another amnesia-induced nightmare in harrowing, no matter what kind of monster she was. To this day, I'll refer to this episode as the single most mind-blowing moment of the series, regardless of the overall quality or importance to the series as a whole. 

6. Fifteen Million Merits

Fifteen Million Merits is a monster of a second episode as it is completely original conceptually and narratively. Forcing the viewer to acclimated to this sort of dystopian world, where you are ruled by the game and talent shows, where you must ride a bicycle to power an unknown source, where you can be forcibly taken out of your job at any time. It balances this sort of nihilistic world with bright lights and colors that dim the senses to the underlying nature of this world. Soon, our protagonist meets a girl with a beautiful voice and uses his own currency to send her to the talent show. When this act of kindness is horribly corrupted, revenge is vowed and sought. But at the moment of truth, at the moment of redemption, the fallibility of humanity is displayed, where the allure of a safe and prosperous life overrules the desire for justice. The twisted machine keeps on chugging preserving life if not destroying the humanity of it. This complete upheaval of expectations, even within an alien version of Earth, is challenging to face and that's what makes it such a rich episode, the dialogue of what was right and what you would do if faced with the same dilemma. This is science-fiction at its finest, using a setting based in fiction to pose a challenging question or situation that could happen in reality.  

5. White Christmas

As a one episode Christmas special, White Christmas entwines a variety of stories, all of them contributing to a singular narrative. Nothing is as it seems in this topsy-turvy episode with each layer of the episode slowly unfurling, revealing the next stage, each building on the last thematically and naturally. This is the episode that Black Museum wishes it was but instead of the clumsy conceit of having a literal museum as a setting, you're faced with two guys just talking in a cabin, reminiscing, until the final, deadly reveal. The craftsmanship of this episode is a lesson to aspiring editors as it juggles numerous storylines, keeps the main story relevant, and manage to build on each one. The horrible fate that awaits one of the men has yet to be rivaled by any other episode.  

4. Hated in the Nation

Beginning as a witness testimony in an English court, Hated in the Nation begins with you knowing that something terrible happened. It's a reliable hook that has been used before but it's effective hear as you step into a detective's shoes as she recounts her previous investigation. The brilliance of this episode is the reliance of audience knowledge on the typical cop procedural show. You have the detectives investigating the initial crime, where a tiny, insect like drone burrowed through a man's brain. Slowly, the pieces assemble where the drones are connected to a venomous hashtag that calls for individuals deaths. Soon the news breaks that anyone targeted with that hashtag will be killed by these drones. But it wouldn't be Black Mirror if it was that simple and the superbly set up twist where a massive amount of drones are released to target all those who used that hashtag to try and kill someone is priceless. Do people deserve to die for the use of a hashtag? Do bullies on the internet deserve punishment? It's fascinating to watch characters in the episode directly or indirectly deal with this issue. The terrifying scene of them being released and blanketing the windows is truly frightening, a visual scare on par with the Birds from Alfred Hitchcock. This episode earns its long run time and is a terrific example of television at it's most thought provoking. 

3. USS Callister

Clearly the best episode from Season 4 of Black Mirror, USS Callister takes you on a roller coaster of changes and twists throughout it's runtime. Opening on what appears to be a classic episode of a Star Trek show, it has the typical pitfalls and nuances that the original had and gives you a nostalgic feeling. Then when the scene changes, revealing the confident Jesse Plemons to be nothing like his captain alter ego, the mood shifts as you can see him being ridiculed by coworkers who resemble the very crew he was just commanding. And then again, perspective changes when we find out that they are digital copies of themselves from reality. The longer the episode runs the more and more it warps our interpretation of the situation making it continuously engaging. But what really brings the episode into the top three is that it doesn't forget to have fun. Characters are snarky even when facing the horror that they do, they fly spaceships in cyberspace with gusto, and the comedy is not only on-point but never overshadowing. It's one of the few Black Mirror episodes that successfully navigates both technological horror and light-hearted comedy in the same space of time. Easily one of the best Black Mirror episodes ever released and even one of the best stand-alone pieces of television produced in modern times. 

2. San Junipero

So call me a sucker for a happy ending but after such a long string of stone-cold depressing storylines, San Junipero was the perfect ray of light without losing the techno-teeth that put this show on the map. As it begins, you know that something is not quite right in the always dancing, 80's inspired nightlife of San Junipero. People meet and dance and frolic and we are introduced to an awkward woman who doesn't seem to fit the general vibe of the area. Sure enough, she's as awkward as we thought until she meets a free-spirited woman who she seems to admire and the physical weight that the actress so perfectly portrays seems to lift if only by a little. And all we want is for that weight to come off entirely. Their story and their love feels genuine thanks in part to the terrific acting that the performers pull off. But, as an audience, we know that something is amiss. Why do the clocks all run out at midnight? How did that mirror fix itself? Are these two women, who we care about, going to be okay? Soon, the veil is lifted and we meet the two elderly women who are experiencing a virtual reality simulation together back when they were young. It's heart-warming and delightfully playful with an undercurrent of dubious technology. Their ability to live on beyond death in San Junipero as digital copies of themselves has a sinister undercurrent. How does this technology work and how else could it be used? It's just another element that adds another layer of depth to an absolutely terrific love story. 

1. Be Right Back

This is what a perfect episode of Black Mirror looks like to me. Technology that we know and use, that has advanced just past what is currently possible, and then taken down the natural path as far as it will go to generate scary and poignant questions. Social media has an omnipresent grasp on our lives as we know it and undoubtedly, the information that we have input into those programs can and has been collected. What if that information could created digital approximation of behavior? Or even farther, of the character behind that behavior? Could it reproduce the soul of someone? It's a fascinating rabbit hole that our character goes down in search of a salve for her newfound loneliness, skeptical at first, and then jumping in with two feet forward. The morbid ending solidifies this episodes mastery with her first debunking the machine's humanity and then placing him in the attic forever more to be a carnival ride for her child. It's macabre to say the least to have a robotic counter part of your dead husband locked in your attic but, boy, is it something to think about. Black Mirror as a show is built on the foundation that science is outpacing humanity's ability to understand it but more than that, it's about demonstrating our shared humanity, good or bad, through our interaction with this new technology. Be Right Back is it's finest work to date on exploring that humanity and the challenges that the future may hold. 

Thanks for reading!