Why Do I Play Video Games?

With age comes a certain level of disillusionment. As you get older, starting with your teenage years, you begin to lose that sense of wonder and joy at everything the world has to offer. It's a natural process that I hold no grudges with but it does happen. When you're in high school, there is an air of mystery that surrounds certain aspects of life, even if you didn't know it at the time. Then there's college or whatever comes after high school and still, inspiration clings on, thinking about all the ways you're going to make your mark on the world. But now that I'm 26, it's hard for me to see beyond getting through the next day.  Going to work, hanging out with friends, going home, sleeping, eating, shitting and then waking up to do it all again.

Our society's inundation of information through the internet and social media and technology has even made the process of learning and education mundane. Going to class to learn facts and dates and equations can fuel the more inquisitive people but that sensation is dulled by the knowledge that you can literally hit up Google for any sort of information immediately. Feeling something for a world that has become so habitual, so ordinary becomes more and more difficult. Love is one of the few experiences that can break this cycle of apathy but, as centuries of bards have told us, love is also quite elusive and no matter the number of 'you need to get out there' speeches you get, its not a guarantee. 

So people turn to entertainment to feel something. From movies to books to sports to TV to radio, we generate feeling by investing in something other than ourselves. Whether it's watching the Broncos push for the 4th quarter comeback drive or watching the heroes of Marvel clash on a titanic scale, the goal of entertainment is to get you to empathize and illicit feelings.  TV shows and books even give you a longer format to become invested in the characters and their tribulations.  Everyone wants to feel something. Generally, it doesn't matter what, from fear to joy to excitement to panic. We all just need something to break up the rest of the monotony. So, why do I play video games? Because when I play video games, I feel more than when I am doing almost anything else. 

When you play a video game, you are the character, and you go through the experiences, making them all the more personal and poignant. Recently, I just finished the emotional roller coaster that is Life is Strange and, while I think episode 5 was a bit of a letdown, I still felt genuine happiness and fear and pain. I yelled at my screen, I gasped in horror, I cried like a child, I even felt an immense smile stretch across my face for a solid 10 minutes of game play. Does this mean that only video games with a superb story can create feelings. Absolutely not.  

I am an avid fan of Destiny and I think that any other avid fans of Destiny can recognize that the vanilla story was total garbage. But every day that I meet up and play with friends online and face down immense challenges together, I feel good; every time a new exotic drops, I feel good; every time we chill and talk about life while farming for spinmetal, I feel good.  Far and away, Destiny is the most social game I've ever known and every time I play it, I feel something... even if it's rage at the fucking shotgun wielding, juggernaut titans that skate around the PvP maps murdering everyone. 

But playing games is not just about being social or witnessing an incredible story, its about making progress in a definable and distinct way.  Much like Sisyphus, it feels as though we are caught in an uphill climb towards a goal so distant that you can't tell whether or not you're even getting any closer. Video games provide that relief. You set a goal and you are able to accomplish it in a matter of hours or days or weeks. In Fallout, you see a clearly identified set of perks and how to acquire them. In Dark Souls, you know that leveling up increases your survival chances and may even unlock new combat options.  In short, it feels good to see your actions create a tangible difference in a relatively short amount of time.  

This may seem like a long-winded explanation of 'escapism' but it's more than that. Video games give the player hundreds of widely-varying opportunities for happiness and trepidation, thrills and teamwork. For me, I know the world itself holds many secrets that are waiting for me and I'm excited to discover them. But while I'm here, in this particular place and time, with little change on the horizon, I am thoroughly grateful that I'm able to get on my PS4 and feel something more.